How to be more “manly” part I

Posted: January 11, 2010 in america, life, manliness, sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Unlike a penis, you aren’t born with manliness. A penis doesn’t guarantee manliness, but rather determines gender. So what does it mean to be a man? More importantly, what can you do to be manly as all fuck?

Here is a short list of the more easily accomplished things you can add to your daily life to raise your level of raw manliness. Now, keep in mind that you will need to refine and incorporate individuality into your manliness.

  • Listen to Metal.

.

  • Start bar fights.

  • Put hot sauce on everything.
  • Get some scars.
  • Learn to lie with vigor, and conviction.
  • Be American or Russian.
  • Denounce france.

Most of these things should come naturally. If not  allow me to provided nominal assistance.

METAL IS KING!!

Firstly, the music you listen to is probably shit. Fix it. People keep thinking the end of the world is cause of “global warming”, or some other shit liberals use to trick you into listening to movie stars instead of people who know what the fuck they’re talking about and voting for rock stars instead of politicians. In all honesty the world is soon going to come to an end cause God is sick of the whiny emo, cookie cutter, crap you’re blaring on your radio. Here is a flow chart God, herself, asked me to make because your loud crappy music is pissing her off.

In short listen to Metal, and save the world from obliteration.

BARFIGHTS!!!

Starting bar fights is a cornerstone of manly adolescence. It comes natural for some of us. you get a few drinks in and your primal need to witness violence comes to the surface. Some people prefer to just punch some one and get into a fight. The flaw I find in this technique is that it lacks style. I prefer the shit talking and watch technique. By employing this technique I get to both talk shit and make the other guy seem extremely pissed off then watch as he starts fights with other people in his rage. So i never have to sit down my drink, but still get to watch a fight. It’s actually really easy, too:

-go to a bar

-find a drunk stupid fuck

-tell him how this guy on the other side of the bar was telling you he thinks this guy is a hippie, frenchman, cocksucker, etc.

-encourage him to stand up for himself.

-stand back and watch.

to be continued…

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Comments
  1. Hey says:

    I wanna smell your titties for a while.

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