Here are the review quickies as promised, all except The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which had horrible sound issues and a lot of unbearable watermarks.

Here we go you big bunch of dick loving cum swappers ….

Transporter 3 – Jason Statham and strangely attractive  freckled red head Eastern-European broad – Action movie. That really is all this is. No real plot to speak of. I mean there is a story but the plot has more holes need plugging than your drunk mother on St. Patrick’s Day. Girl kidnapped for political reasons Statham forced out of retirement to transport said girl. Statham takes of his shirt beats up baddies. Girl finds this erotic, bangs Statham. Statham drives a car all crazy and shit, here’s the twist ….. you ready …. huh … he can ride BMX  like a Dave Mirra. Oh, and also there is a bomb strapped to his wrist and he can’t go far from the car (75 feet.). Lots of beating and punching and Statham and mostly over done (highly sped up frame rates in most action shots) directing. Other than the flow of the directing I’d say its as good as the last 1. I would still take The Transporter as the best of the 3. I know shall begin my search for Crank 2!!!

6.3/10

moving along …

Milk – Sean Penn, James Franco, Josh Brolin, and Emile Hirsh – Firstly All this Best actor in a leading role nonsense, sorry Mr. Penn, You were awesome in this movie, I’ll give you that but I give my vote to my man Mickey for The Wrestler! His performance in this movie was as good and as powerfully, and crisply delivered as any role he’s done. I would put this performance up there with Mystic River, I am Sam, and all the rest. Josh Brolin was amazing. Better even than he was in No Country For Old Men (didn’t see “W” … yet). Emile Hirsh was amazing in Into the Wild and gave an great performance in Lords of Dogtown( so I’ve heard but yet to see) alongside the late Heath Ledger. In this movie he was totally believable as a cock sucking queer, pulled it off beautifully…uh..i uh…mean he was a faggot!!! James Franco, whoa, i think he enjoyed kissing Sean Penn a little too much, that smile looked a little too genuine (closet queen). Great all around performance from the entire cast. Rather gay stuff grosses you our or you’re a homophobe or whatever the case may be you aren’t interested in this movie… SEE IT. Its is a good movie and more than about being gay this movie is about civil rights (also watch Mississippi burning for a great civil rights movie).

8.2/10

NEXT!!! ….

Quarantine – Jennifer Carpenter (Exorcism of Emily Rose) and Jay Hernandez (Torque and shit) – A film crew doing a late night show called “Night Shift” (like a sober version of Insomniac w/ Dave Attell) follows a fire house, hanging out and having a gay old time till they catch a call. Landlord of an apartment building in LA calls in cause he hears screams from an elderly lady’s apartment. followed by silence, and gets no response at the door. LAPD and LAFD arrive with Night Shift in tow. Upon entering the old woman’s apartment she is covered in blood and incoherent, easily startled and aggressive, then she attacks. She latches onto a police officers throat eating his neck apart …. the entire group rally to subdue the old bitch gauze and place pressure on the open neck wound of the downed officer. Upon arriving downstairs they find them selves sealed inside and quarantined by the police, fire dept, CDC, and military. No way out and, shit, when crazy groaning people eat other people shit tends to hit the proverbial fan!….

That’s all i’m saying enjoy the flick give it a go… its pretty good as far as decently budgeted “survival horror”/”zombie” flicks go.

7.2/10

Slumdog Millionaire – Dev Patel and Frieda Pinto (GOD SHE IS SO HOT!!) – Who Wants To Be A Millionaire … in India!!! Contestant Jamal Malik has never know money, never know success, never known education…but he’s known love! Brothers who watch their mother slain in a riot as children grow up homeless and the youngest of the 2 finds love as a boy in his friend and fellow begger child Latika. The plot follows Jamal’s chance on India’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire as an 18 year old assistant at a call center. He gets more and more questions right leading up to the 20,000,000 rupees grand prize the movie opens after getting the 10,000,000 rp. question right. He is arrested for fraud (cheating), tortured, and tells his life’s story and explaining how he knew the answers to all these questions. The film is a gripping tale of survival, honesty, betrayal, and love. The most entertaining of all the movies I’ve reviewed here today. This movie took home the SAG award for best Ensemble Performance. I think it was well earned, as even the children playing he main characters in the flashback scenes were very good. Great direction and story. Character development was grade. Give it a watch people I think you will have a new found respect for the work that comes out of “Bollywood”. The film uses a mix of English (by the grown ups) and Hindi (flashbacks w/ children) even the way the Hindi/English subtitles are presented was well done.

8.9/10

[editor’s note – great soundtrack]

and for a freebie an old movie (2005) …

Me, You, and Everyone We Know – John Hawkes and Miranda July – CREEPY … FUNNY …ENTERTAINING …GOOD! This is one of those movies where you watch it..you keep watching it…you keep waiting for the “awkward silence” feeling you have to go away , but it doesn’t. It’s much like the movie Happiness (watch this clip) in that regard. Not much more to say but I liked it and was thoroughly amused, intrigued, and creeped out by the whole damn thing. Here is the clip that made a friend want to watch it which  he in turn passed along to me which in turn made me want to watch it too …. ))<>((

6.8/10 plus     ))<>((       equals 7.0/10

I will try to find a better screener for Ben Button and will write a good full review on The Wrestler when I get a chance.

Stay tuned faggots ….

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Comments
  1. Anthony Yow says:

    I wish I could get some of these screeners from you but your phone isn’t working I guess….

  2. mcmeador says:

    fofofofofofofo!!!

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