fears …

Posted: November 18, 2008 in america, life, manliness
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

So it turns out I may have a long and ridiculous list of phobias. Here I thought I was rather brave with nothing more than a mild fear of heights, Arcophobia. I mean other than that I’m rather G-D manly, I’d say. I like going fast, explosions, tits, fire, guns, fights, cars, Selma Hayek, America, etc.  these are all bad ass things that I am NOT afraid of. I also am a fan of drinking and womanizing. As some of you may know I’ve done my fair share of both, these are not my phobias, but rather my philias i.e. eurotophilia.

I spent the last hour or so of extreme boredom looking at a list of phobias and have come to the realization that “therapy” and “illness” and “disease” and “syndrome” are attached to things far too easily and have pushed this country into a medicated delusional state of faux-happiness and codependency. Some of these “fears” are ridiculous. I mean seriously who the fuck isn’t afraid of sexual abuse (agraphobia), atomic explosions (atmosophobia), nuclear weapons (nucleomituphobia), or the french (homophobia)*.  These are by large a waste of time and energy. This nation wide pity party has to end. I mean i can understand a few fears, they make sense to me.

  • Gamophobia – the fear of marriage
  • Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – the fear of long words
  • Ithyphallophobia – the fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis
  • Phthisiophobia – the fear of tuberculosis

However, there are also phobias of just completely ridiculous things like the fear of tombstones (placophobia). Why in God’s name would one be afraid of inanimate non-living things. Fear of trees. Ok, you watched one too many M. Night movies and should be slapped, but fear of cut granite with words etched into it? WTF people! Lets take my “fear” of heights for example, when I’m high and the chance of tumbling to certain injury is very high, my heart rate climbs and i get nervous THE END. Now if I were to drop to my rear and start sobbing like an 9 year alter boy suffering from heirophobia (fear of priests or holy things) and begging the Lord to rescue me from this horrible situation I would be a pathetic waste of testosterone. If that were the reaction elicited from my soul by heights would I really need to see a therapists about it and be put on medication? What would the medication really do? Is it going to rid me of my fear or simply make me numb to the world in general? I wager my seat in CSPAM it’s the latter!

Definition of Phobia

Phobia: An unreasonable sort of fear that can cause avoidance and panic. Phobias are a relatively common type of anxiety disorder.

For example, extreme fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, and fear of being outside is known as agoraphobia. Phobias can be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy using exposure and fear reduction techniques. In many cases, anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication proves helpful, especially during the early stages of therapy.

The word “phobia” is from the Greek “phobos” (fear).

– (Medterms.com)

Take back our lives people stop relying on medication and double talking psycho-mind-rapists to help you make sense of the world. They are enablers. They make you think its ok, or normal to be deathly afraid of spiders so much that the mere sight of a basic house spider sends your into cardiac arrest! Calm down people and rationalize within yourselves. I;m not to sure how this ever got to some sort of a serious note but there it is!

Oh and by the way france is GAY!!!

* Galiophobia is the actual term for the fear of the french. “Fear of the french”, oxymoron, I know, but like I stated throught this post these are some silly things to be afraid of.


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