Sex and The Bible.

Posted: September 24, 2008 in comedy, life
Tags: , , ,

I’ve been meaning to blog about this for sometime now. Seeing as how I’m waiting for some stuff to finish downloading and I don’t feel like walking all the way downstairs to play COD4, what better time than now?

Sex and The Bible

Common beliefs in Christianity lead us to believe that many sex acts are a sin and shouldn’t be performed. Moreover that nothing should be done before marriage! Holy Shit! Are you seriously requesting a Man enter into a sacred bond with a woman whom A) he hasn’t sampled and therefore could unknowingly be headed for disastrous divorce and Ten Commandment breaking sins due to her lack of sex drive or skill. No Bueno!

here is an excerpt of a professional opinion of The Bible’s view on anal sex.

This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.

In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: “How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ‘ Who will come against me?’ (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)

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Comments
  1. bobby moore says:

    given any different passage of the bible can be interpreted in thousands of different ways, you can make the bible say basically anything you want. you just have to find the right scriptures within it. now this does not mean that what you interpret is what was meant by the scripture in the first place. so therefor i say if you are a religious person-then you should take the bible for what it was meant to say(what is preached “theoretically” given your denomination) and do not try and interpret it into what you want it to say. now that being said i do not believe much of what was written in the bible, other than it provides GREAT morals to live by if you so choose to follow them. basically if you want to have sex -however that may be- then do it, but quit trying to find ways to justify it through “GOD”

  2. mcmeador says:

    This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my life, partly because you are at work and can’t go downstairs and play COD4, but mostly because it’s just ridiculous.

  3. Anthony Yow says:

    I agree. lol

  4. serdafied says:

    i heart you guys no homo

    lol for once bobby tried to be serious about 1 of my posts
    michael made me lol
    and anthony the ever agreeing yow

  5. Matt says:

    Unfortunatly they didn’t mention the part about having no lube back then. “And john hast sliden his member into her backside, and woe! The screams of the banshee that did echo through the night frightened the villagers for many moons to come” Matt 9:25

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